do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
