If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
