Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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