i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
