We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
