woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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