Why are handjobs necessary in class?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
