you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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