and you said cock pushups were impossible
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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