My balls are so social today.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
