it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i dont even know how to be here
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
