Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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