why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
