operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
