Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
