No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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