y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize