just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
