If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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