People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
