I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
