Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
