Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
