At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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