Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize