he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
