ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
