yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
