its not stalking. its research.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
