Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
