do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize