walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
