Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
