I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I need a beard to bite.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize