Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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