Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
