these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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