Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize