dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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