Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
