Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
