Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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