You smell like a Billy Joel song
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
