omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
