you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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