I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
