So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
