we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
