just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize