you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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