Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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