Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
