I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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