So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
