Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
