wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
