I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
