Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
