Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
