Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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