I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize