some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
