beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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