I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
