I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
