Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Houston, we have a blender
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
