You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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