Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize