you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My bed smells like the plague
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